Family (Week 9)

Sometimes, I regret to be reckless, merciless, and ignorant. Sometimes, I forgot how much my parents sacrificed for me. I forgot how much they did for me. I forgot how did I become such an ungrateful girl. I was born in Taipei. We moved to Taoyuan since it was closer to the international airport. Then we moved to Hsinchu. We didn't have to move in the first place if it wasn't for my brother and me. In order to access education, we bought a house and moved. I didn't realize that buying a house was an arduous task by then. Most of my schoolmates around me told me that their parents rent a house, instead of buying. My dad's company used to be across my house. However, he had to endure the freeways. I realize how much I love my family whenever they cast me a look of expectation when they ask me if I have time to have a family trip. I feel that I'm an awful daughter. My parents always bolster and support my decisions. They never reproach my own decisions, even though I may be reckless. They make me feel loved. I see my better self in the eyes of those who love me, making me want to be a better person.

Friendship (Week 8)

Friendship should be built on mutual trust. Friendship isn't judged by benefits. It exemplifies Aristotle's friendship of usefulness. I should have known. If people aren't congruous, they shouldn't feign and compel themselves into a friendship. Friends who are merely pretentious and insincere shouldn't be trusted. When friends no longer share secrets with each other, when friends don't support each other, it's time to end. There's a limit for everything. We just can't cross people's bottom line. Once it's crossed, inevitably, we become exasperated. Recently, I start to contemplate the real meaning of friendship. A friend of mine told me a pathetic story. I was inspired, which made me ponder my own plight. I realized that I shouldn't have befriended her while she didn't deem me as a real friend. If all she cares is academic work, then go for it. My life will be colorful and iridescent, and it's not all about GPA, college, and SAT. My life is determined by the decisions I make. I was no longer the timid girl three years ago who could hardly adapt to the new environment. I make my own choices.

Relationship (Week 6)

A friend of mine is frequently worried about her relationship with her boyfriend over the summer. She lives in Vancouver, but she comes back to Taiwan in summer. Her boyfriend claims that he had been pretending to be love with her for over 7 months. He believes that it's time to end their relationship. She doesn't want to break up with her boyfriend, so she's struggling. She ponders and complains that she shouldn't have been in a relationship if she had known that it won't last. It sounds like a typical chick-lit movie, yet it always happens in real life. Through her chagrin, I start to wonder whether boyfriend/girlfriend is worth of that much trouble. Love is like a snakebite, a venom spreading through the veins, yet love can be a sunset with a blaze of colors. It's amazing to feel loved, yet it's irritating to spend so much time worrying about relationship. Instead of vexing, I would rather spend time to discover and develop my interests, listen to music, or watch a movie.

Nightmare (Week 5)

I had a nightmare. It was one of those nightmares where something was chasing me, but I was too afraid to look back. All I heard was its breath, getting closer and closer. I felt its shadow looming up behind me, but I was paralyzed. I understood that any second I could feel its icy fingers closing on my neck, yet I ran. The darkness seemed to come alive, surrounding me, choking me, and swallowing me. I was in a maze which was full of doors. Monsters lurked behind the doors. I had to open the doors and found my way out of the labyrinth. I couldn't tell why did I know it was a nightmare, but I just knew it. The pinprick light of stars was barely visible, yet the starlight couldn't comfort my hammering heart. Pale silver light poured into the maze like a rain of needles. I desperately wanted to freeze myself and stop running because I couldn't afford the speeding heart rate, the panting, and the need to breathe fresh air. Alarm rang. I woke to the chirps of birds and a soft gray light seeping through the blinds.

Nostalgia (Week 4)

People usually miss the good-old days. They refer to the good-old days like the vanishing sparkles of the fireworks. Indeed, I miss my carefree childhood: The days when boys chase girls on the hallways without suspicions, the days when boys sit with the girls on the same chair closely, the days when boys and girls play truth or dare, and the days when boys and girls embrace and cry together for the loss of . Since when did we start recognize our gender identities specifically? There is an insubstantial thread sliding between girls and boys, yet it unravels when we start to recognize our gender identities. The bond breaks and we can merely lament the past. I always wonder whether there can be friendship between girls and boys. It's hard to form a steadfast bond if people always make remarks on a friendship. I learn to not wear my heart on my sleeve for everyone to see throughout the years. There are always some secrets which are better left as a burden in the heart.

Friendship (Week 3)

Perhaps my blog was inspired by the "Friendship in an Age of Economics" article or by the dinner party with my local-school friends (I couldn't deny it) or by my hangout with my old friends, I felt like expressing my feelings. I read Aristotle's opinions about friendship one year ago in CTY. We had a debate-like discussion. I do agree with Aristotle's opinions that there are three types of friendships-- one of pleasure, one of utility, and one of virtue. Perfect friendship is supposed to last perpetually. However, I haven't witnessed a true friendship in which friends are willing to sacrifice for each other's sake. In addition, in order to love a friend, we must learn to love ourselves in the first place. If we don't love ourselves, the friendship is likely to turn into friendship of pleasure or that of utility. I think Aristotle is quite myopic when he limits true friendship among the virtuous men. Virtue is hard to define. A person may reform oneself or enlighten oneself through mistakes and hardships. Friendship isn't circumscribed by virtue. It is built on trust, empathy, understanding, and altruism. It doesn't matter whether people are virtuous or not. What matters the most is that friendship provides us supports, enlightenment, and a harbor. I can't be convinced that I will have a friendship as perfect as Aristotle's definition, yet I'm absolutely sure that I have friends who will listen to me vent and spend their time comforting me.

Basketball (Week 2)

Unfortunately, this year, our girl basketball team losses our coach. Frankly, I feel jealous of the guys who share our coach. He was our coach. Due to a lack of supplies and resources, directly, the teachers, our school no longer hires a new basketball coach to replace the one who used to teach guys. Now, basketball players are sharing common resources, which genuinely disappoints me. Our coach doesn't care about the girl basketball players as much as he used to. He should belong to the girls perpetually. It's selfish and irrational to appreciate something after we lose it. However, it applies to me exactly. I now regret that I didn't work hard enough in basketball team last year since nobody will correct me anymore. When I lose our coach, I realize how precious he is. However, it was too late to regret because he has drifted away as a duckweed, coming and leaving without a trace.

The Fault in Our Stars Book Review (Week 1)

Since my AP Economics blog isn't bound by anything (MUAHAHA), I'll start with introducing my recent-favorite book-- The Fault in Our Stars by John Greene. I finished it on June 17, 2013.

"Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book." This was exactly the way I felt for The Fault in Our Stars, which was ironic since the quote was excerpted from the book itself. 

Contemporary novels usually didn't touch me as The Fault in Our Stars did since the formula for plot never changed-- a girl met a hot guy and it turned out that the guy loved the girl. They fell in love and unfortunately, they must undergo difficulties, such as breakups or family issues. Eventually, the conflict resolved and they lived happily-ever-after, such as ending with a marriage proposal. It was indeed bold for authors to have the courage to sabotage and kill their characters. I didn't usually believe that the authors would be brave enough to leave their characters dead. There was always magic to resuscitate the characters. Well, Augustus Waters was undoubtedly unique.

I love the quote 'Some infinities are bigger than other infinities." Indeed, we had limited life span. All the cancer patients weren't fighters. We usually embellished their successes and exaggerated their courage of fighting against the cancer. They might suffer so much that they were eager to die in order to reach eternal peace.

As a terminal cancer patient, Hazel Grace was a heroine who didn't want to leave her footprints in the sand of time, which surprised me. People left footprints such as bequeathing a legacy or outlasting the death. Most of the people were eager to live for something, if not, at least die for something. However, Hazel merely wanted to leave less scar in the world. She was a selfless hero. She didn't want to become a grenade, blowing up everyone's lives, so she insisted her parents to have their own lives since she fully understood that she would die, sooner or later. On the other hand, Augustus Water was amazingly humorous, intelligent, and sarcastic. (Not to mention he was gorgeous [wink, wink]) He was willing to let Hazel hijack his wish. He made Hazel's dream come true. He would never leave Caroline, his ex-girlfriend, behind, though she had a brain tumor and called his prosthesis STUMPY (she died eventually). He stoop up for his friend Isaac and allowed Isaac to vent his anger by breaking his basketball trophies. He always saved the innocent and the civilians in video games and he rather sacrificed himself than to reach the goals. He loved his choice of falling in love with Hazel. Frankly, he was the perfect boyfriend.

Besides the well-developed character, the sub-plots didn't merely reveal around the romance. It portrayed the family bond among Hazel and Augustus's families. Hazel's parents contributed everything in Hazel's cancer, though they were aware that Hazel would die. I realized that living to our fullest wasn't determined by the length of our lives. It was determined by the love we had, either from families, friends, or lovers. The book further depicted the sincere friendship between Augustus and Isaac. Augustus would drop out of school immediately to look after Isaac after he had the eye surgery. Augustus would stand up for Isaac by supporting him to egg-smash Isaac's aloof, promise-breaking ex-girlfriend. It was touching and I would love to have a friend like Augustus. He was fairly considerable and he took great care of Hazel in the beginning of the story. He confronted the despicable Peter Van Houten when this asshat tried to use the most hurtful way to explain Hazel's terminal cancer. Augustus was more alive than anyone I met before (I'm sorry, it's cheesy) since he shone and burnt like a candle. He didn't become a grenade eventually since people he loved moved on, though a huge hole would always remain in their hearts.

I love Augustus and Hazel. Even though the conclusion was tragic, I learnt that people might not always regret their decisions because there are people who made our decisions worthwhile.